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Negotiators give hidden clues per what’s really on their minds by the words and gestures they use to convey their thoughts. To win more negotiations, unlock your awareness of hidden clues, and increase your level of awareness per what’s said, how it’s said, and the body language accompanying thoughts introduced during the negotiation.

Those hidden clues will give you the sense of direction to adopt for the negotiation, along with peeks of insights into the opposing negotiator’s strategy. Consider the following:

Speech Delivery:

Pace: Be aware of the pace at which the other negotiator speaks. In particular, be mindful of when he accelerates and deaccelerates his speech. Therein will lie clues to the deliberateness he applied to the offers and counteroffers he makes, which will also give you clues to his initial strategy per how he planned to engage in the negotiation.

Word Choice: Be mindful of the words used by the other negotiator and the meaning of those words per how he’s using them. Since the same word can have a different meaning to people, you must understand the intent being implied based on the words used by the other negotiator. You should also be mindful per how he’s measuring his words (e.g. pain can be implied by saying, “I’m experiencing discomfort with your offer”, or “that doesn’t agree with me” while touching his stomach (i.e. expressing his thoughts through kinesthetic).

Word Absence: Be very aware of what’s not said. The omission of words can conceal thoughts that have a huge impact on the negotiation. If you sense the absence of a word(s)/thoughts, you might consider posing the word/thought yourself to the other negotiator. Then, observe the response per delivery (i.e. slow could imply contemplation, fast might imply no great concern and/or something that he doesn’t want to deal with), word choices used to respond (e.g. I never thought of that (while being reflective)), and demeanor (i.e. sad, happy, disturbed, etc.) Such insights could expose conjectures. Be prepared to take advantage of them.

Nonverbal Body Language:

Nervous Gestures: To detect nervousness, observe fidgeting, shifting in chair, perspiration occurring at specific times in the negotiation, and excessive rubbing of hands/eyes/arms/legs. The latter are comfort gestures indicating that the opposing negotiator is attempting to calm himself.

Confident Gestures: Steepled hands (e.g. Church steeple), normal and consistent breathing, along with non-jerky movements all indicate/projects self-assuredness. When observing these gestures note the time they last and at what point in the negotiation that they occur.

Intuition per Awareness: When experiencing intuition, our brain is signaling that it senses something that may require more attention. Since we’re bombarded by millions of minute nuances of information on a daily basis, our brain takes shortcuts to weed out information it deems unnecessary of our full attention. As such, we may not be 100% focused on auxiliary occurrences that happen around us. That’s because such sensations occur on a subliminal/subconscious level.

When we have such sensations, even though we’re not fully aware of what we’re sensing, such signals should be given more credence because they contain insights per what we’re experiencing.

As with any negotiation, the more you’re aware per what’s occurring in your environment, the more opportunities you’ll see. To increase your negotiation win rate, raise your level of awareness per the insights cited above… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Wedding is an occasion which arrives only once in the life of an individual. It is definitely true that no other occasion is as special as this one, but the date of marriage which knocks the door annually divides the pleasure of that very day into small segments. Rejoicing those moments, however, brings the marriage memories of the couples back. You can easily get several presents for friends if any of them are planning to celebrate their anniversaries. Visiting physical stores will let you come across some of the best items that you can present them on that day. To get more unique wedding anniversary gifts for friends, online stores can also be great options.

An invitation to your friend’s wedding anniversary party leads you to a dilemma on which item to choose to suit his requirements. Friends are too close to an individual. Thus, no one could ever know your friend more than yourself. You might know the future plans of your friend after marriage. If he or she wants to shift to some other settlement, presenting simple household items would be the best presents for friends on their anniversary. They will surely need to buy those items after they shift. Then why not you contribute some of them and make the shifting process a bit simpler. Along with household goods, you can present antiques and other decorative items as ideal presents for friends to enhance the look of their home.

Honeymoon after marriage is something very common in the lives of the couples. But planning a long trip for the couples on their later anniversaries could be great. If you think your friend is too busy with his professional life, being a true peer, you should arrange a long trip for the couple and give him an opportunity to spend some quality time with his life partner. Thus, a trip or travel package will be one of the most wonderful presents for friends on their anniversary, either it is the first or the twenty-fifth or later. You know very well, when your friend’s wedding anniversary is. Isn’t it? Plan a surprise party for the couple and invite close friends and family for the event. This will surely be one of the delightful wedding anniversary presents for friends.

The above-mentioned items are the common gifts that you can take into consideration as some simple presents for friends. But many people try to get something unique for the couples to make their gifts, mementos for those occasions. It’s true that each and every wedding anniversary is symbolized by some metal. If you want to give a special touch to your presents, try to get something related to those symbols. For instance, paper symbolizes the first year of a couple’s married life. Suggest your friend to write a letter full of description of his or her life partner’s qualities and make him or her feel special on the very first wedding anniversary. No other present can be as original as these unique wedding anniversary gifts.

As paper signifies the first marriage anniversary, wood is for 5th, silver for 25th, coral for 35th, gold for 50th, diamond for 60th and so on.

When you negotiate with people who are angry, what strategies and tactics can you use to combat their anger?

There will be times when you will have to negotiate with people who are angry, for one reason or another. When you encounter such a person, the first thing you should try to do is establish the source of their anger. Are they angry with you because of the position or organization you represent? Do they feel as though they’ve received the ‘short end of the stick’ and think you played a role in their dilemma? Did they start their day by getting up on the ‘wrong side of the bed?’

The reason it’s so important to identify the source of their anger is so you can understand the mindset they possess and the reason they possess that mindset. Once you’ve determined the reasoning behind the adoption of their current position and the source from which it came, you’ll have insight into how to alter their mental makeup. After understanding their mental makeup, you can employ the following 7 strategies …

1. Before the encounter, if possible, determine how you might address the situation. Gather information as to the source of the problem the other person has and why they are maintaining that position.
2. Listen very intently to the nature of their concerns and don’t interrupt while they are speaking. When you interrupt someone, you are literally saying, what you have to say is more important than what they are saying. In addition, you can’t gather information while you’re talking versus listening. Some people just want to be heard.
3. Let the other person know you’re really listening by reiterating what you’ve heard. State the fact that you’re listening in the form of, ‘So I’m sure I understand what you’re saying, I’d like to reiterate what I’ve heard.’ Convey empathy and genuine concern for their situation.
4. Read the other person’s body language, even if you’re speaking to them on the phone. You can listen to the level of anger they possess. Some negotiators suggest you infuse humor into such a situation. My suggestion is ‘go easy.’ You don’t want to exacerbate a situation further by being perceived as insensitive.
5. Identify your position as it relates to why you and not someone else is negotiating in this situation.
6. Highlight your authority to address their problem (note: Do not put yourself in the position of having the final authority of giving them what they want, until you’re sure you can deliver what they seek and it’s not to your detriment. You always want to have a ‘back door’ to escape through in case you can’t deliver the ultimate request they’re making.)
7. Change the pace of the conversation. If the other person is screaming, acknowledge your perception of their state of mind and speak in a softer tone. If they are speaking fast, you should speak slower. What you’re attempting to do is change the tone, pace, and speed of the conversation. By doing so, you will start to alter the mental state of mind the other person possesses.

If you’ve learned how to interpret body language, even if you can’t see the other person (if you want/need more information on how to read body language, send me an e-mail), you’ll gain insight into how their perception and emotional state of mind is changing. If you’re negotiating face to face, determining their mental level of anxiety becomes invariantly easier. Suffice it to say, when you negotiate with an angry person, display empathy, an understanding of their perspective, and the willingness to address their concerns … and everything will be right with the world.

The negotiation lessons are …

• When negotiating with an angry person/people, let them talk. Go the ‘extra mile’ to understand their source of irritation and let them know you’re trying to work with them to solve their problem.
• Determine if they are using anger as a tactic to manipulate you into getting what they want. If you determine they are using anger as a tactic, let them know that you are ‘on to their game.’
• While trying to assist the angered person to achieve what they seek, keep your own goals for the negotiation in mind. Be sure to set boundaries, so the other person knows, as early in the conversation as possible, that you will assist them, but not to your disadvantage. Always be willing to walk away from a situation and incur the consequences, if you can’t agree upon an equitable outcome.