Stress Management Through Learning How to Be Present

One of the quickest ways out of stress is to learn how to fully experience the present moment – that’s the one that is happening right now!

Most stress that people feel in their body is generated from a thought about something that has either already happened and is now over, or something that they anticipate will happen in the future, and may also never happen! There is every possibility that when you notice anxious feeling in your body you’ll also be able to recognise that the thing you are having a stressful thought about is not actually happening in that very moment.

The key to dissolving stress is to realise that nothing and no one can make you experience those uncomfortable anxious feelings until you take the information inside and attach a stressful meaning to what is going on in your environment. Your nervous system does not respond to things or events, it responds to the thoughts you have about those things or event. There are many techniques to help you reframe your stressful thoughts into more positive ones, but getting into the practice of letting your thoughts go all together is one of the most mentally liberating experiences you can have.

Here’s an example of what I mean. You get up in the morning and you take a shower. However, mentally you’re not in the shower, you are already at work thinking about that important meeting or pressing deadline. Or maybe you’re replaying that argument you had yesterday. One thing is for sure, you’re not in the shower!

Bringing your attention back to the here and now means you are free to experience the peacefulness of this very moment. Stress does not exist in the ‘now’.

If you’re in the shower, BE in the shower. Become absorbed in the sensation of the warm water raining over your body. Watch the steam billowing around you. Notice the relaxing feeling of the water’s pressure massaging your skin, and that sound of the splashing against the walls and floor. Just be with it, be curious about it, and enjoy it.

To be fully present with your experience of the current moment is to let go of your thoughts and to just be. Doing this requires your thinking mind to become still and take on the role of a silent observer.

This is an important skill to practice. If you can master being totally tuned into the ‘now’ without your usual thoughts or stories about what ‘now’ means, you can begin to experience a more stress free life, even in those situations that used to bother you.

As with any skill I encourage you to start small. Being present in an already peaceful environment, such as being out in nature or listening to music, is a great training ground. As you get more and more used to being completely aware of a moment you’ll notice that it becomes easier to return to the ‘now’ in more normal situations such as being at work, driving, having a conversation, and later, to things that used to be stressful.

A question you may have is, “How can I let go of my thoughts and experience the peacefulness of the present moment while I’m having a conversation, or doing something that requires my attention?”

You can still be present while you are talking with someone else by getting to know that part of you that is always just observing what is going on. For instance, when you say something to somebody, or even to yourself, there is another part of your consciousness just noticing that you are having a conversation. It is entirely possible for you to hold a normal conversation while that part of you just observes the stream of words and sentences that are being unconsciously spoken, without any assistance from your thinking mind. As I am typing this I don’t need to think about what the next word is going to be, it just appears. You can easily talk to another person while at the same time being aware of the sensation of the words leaving your mouth. You can hear, and understand, what is being said to you whilst also distinguishing between the words and tonal qualities of the voice says them.

That’s being present. Fully noticing the experience of having a conversation, while you are having it, actually means you are more engaged with the other person. How often do you find yourself not really listening to what someone else is saying because you are already thinking about what YOU are going to say next? Surely that’s more stressful than just letting the conversation naturally flow.

Who would you be in this very moment without your thinking mind? Just a person standing, sitting or lying, and enjoying the peace of the ‘now’.

Here is a guide to help you practice being present. Read though the steps first before trying it out on your own.

STEP ONE – Take a few slow deep breaths and get your body into a nice relaxed state.

STEP TWO – Look straight a head of you and take in as much of the vision as you can. Let yourself even begin to notice the small details about your environment that you do not normally pay attention to. What can you see in your peripheral vision? Stretch your focus so that you can still see what is to the side of you, above and below, while you also see what’s in front.

STEP THREE – Keeping your attention on what you see, also begin to notice what you hear. Besides the main, obvious noises, what else can you hear that you were not aware of before? See what you see and hear what you hear in fine detail. Be curious about it.

STEP FOUR – Now add into the mix the physical sensations you are experiencing. If you are standing notice your body weight that’s being supported by your feet. If you are sitting, feel the sensation of your body resting in the chair. Notice the touch of your clothes against you; your feeling of your feet inside your shoes; the temperature of the air against your skin; the natural rise and fall of your chest as you breathe. Continue to acknowledge each new sensation as it presents itself to your awareness.

STEP FIVE – Let any internal dialogue drift away as you just exist in this moment. Let the silence of your mind become a part of that overall experience. Just see what you see, hear what you hear and feel the physical sensations. Nothing has a label; it is what it is, just be with it.

Ten Fun Ways to Liven Up Any Presentation

Most of us would agree that having humor in our lives increases rapport, strengthens our relationships and overcomes communication barriers. People who work in a positive, often playful environment are more likely to stay. Productivity and creativity increase while stress is reduced. We just feel better after a good laugh. Think funny!

1. Open with a humorous story.. I remember the time the lights when out and I fell off the stage. I wasn’t hurt and quickly said, Now I will take questions from the floor. I’m at my best when taking questions in the dark. Before you can be funny, you must learn to see funny. Find the humor around you, in your life every day. The lady who takes an aisle seat rather tan sit next to the window… doesn’t want to mess up her hair. Practice telling the story out loud, and cut out any parts that aren’t crucial. As Shakespeare so wisely said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

2. Use props (candy bars, hats, funny faces, etc.) Props can be used as a metaphor or an analogy for a point you are introducing. They get your creative juices working while providing an anchor for your audience to focus on.

3. Cartoons use your own or others a picture saves a 1000 words. Put cartoons on an overhead or use as part of a PowerPoint presentation.

4. Humor – should be relevant to your topic. Tom Peters said, I deeply believe in humor; not in jokes. Humor is spectacular. Humor relieves anxiety and tension, serves as outlet for hostility and anger, and provides a healthy escape from reality. It lightens heaviness related to critical illness, trauma, disfigurement, and death. It comes as no surprise that many people are utilizing humor to deal with the trying times. But is the humor timely? Is it appropriate?

Do not use ethnic, racist, political or religious jokes. Include a joke that helps bring back the attention of the audience or as a way to lighten up your remarks. We all can use a good laugh from a well timed, funny joke.

5. Self effacing humor- it is better to admit you made a mistake than to admit that you are one. One of my lines as a mother of five is: For someone who isn’t Catholic, I sure did my share for the pope! Phyllis Diller is in the Guinness Book of World Records as having the most laughs per minute. A laugh is measured by:

5 points if everyone is laughing and applauding
-4 points if everyone is laughing and there’s a smattering of applause
-3 points if everyone laughs but there’s no applause
-2 points if some people are laughing
-1 point for a titter or giggle

6. Mime- Marcel Marceau makes us laugh and moves us. Charlie Chaplin was an all time great without using the spoken word.

7. Move Your Body -Try lifting your nose, look off to the side, jut out the bottom of your jaw, and notice how you become arrogant or aloof, Take a wide stance, shift your hips forward, and now you’ve just gained 50 pounds. The use of body movements will help to visually enhance your remarks.

8. Repetitive oral recitation- (repeat after me, Remember, if you can see funny, you can be funny. Repeat a particular sentence throughout your presentation to encourage audience retention.

9. Use taped music for a stretch break. Get the audience to sing a funny song. Pass out words to a song. Lighten up your attendees have some fun and your audience retention will increase. Don’t be afraid to be theatrical or silly. It’s why we pay actors the big bucks; and your audiences won’t forget you. Be outrageous. It’s the only place that isn’t crowded.

10. Group exercise a fun way to conclude your presentation is to use a group exercise. Use the football huddle to get the group to repeat a cheer or an affirmation to take some action.

How to Give a Winning Presentation – 6 Great Tips

Children in grade school are giving presentations. High school students are doing them with PowerPoint. In every company, organization, social gathering, and team meeting, there are more opportunities and expectations to speak in front of a group. Some fear presentations. Others just need help in how to give a presentation that engages the audience and achieves its goal.

It’s not that hard, but there are many steps. Write a clear key message. Develop the outline. Generate the content of your presentation, create your visuals, carefully consider your conclusion, rehearse your opening, then edit and practice.

1. Develop a clear key message

One of my most frequent comments is this: What are you really trying to say? I’m not sure I’m getting it. The volume of data and information often fogs the real message.

An average person’s attention span is typically 7 minutes before the mind wanders off. Listening and processing what we hear requires a lot of cognitive energy. Listening is hard – even harder if it’s later in the day, if other priorities are clouding your brain, if you’re hungry, have a backache, or need to use the washroom. Obstacles like a noisy room or not being able to clearly see the presenter can whittle those potential 7 minutes of attention down to 3.5 minutes.

Ask yourself, if someone surveyed the people who were in your presentation with the question, what was the speaker’s main message? Would you get an 80% consensus? If 80% of your audience can’t repeat it, then your key message wasn’t clear enough. So with that in mind, develop a clear and succinct message. Repeat it more than once.

Help your audience hear your key message. You can preface your remarks by saying something like: I want you to take away an important key message and this is it…

2. Make your opening remarks memorable

You want your opening remarks to hook the audience and engage them immediately. You can do this in many ways: highlight their need to hear what you have to say; share a surprising statistic/number/dollar figure; deliver a short anecdote; tell a human interest story. These are just a few ideas for making your opening dynamic.

I often advise my clients to develop their opening remarks at the end of writing the presentation. These first moments are so important and they’re easier to write after everything else is finished.

Practice your opening remarks many times, out loud and standing up. You should be entirely fluent without reading or looking at notes. If your opening goes well, the rest of the presentation will follow in the same way.

3. Engage the audience

If your audience isn’t engaged, who are you talking to? They may look like they’re listening, but their minds could be on the golf course. Keep focusing on how to engage them. Make your delivery impactful, your slides simple and clean, and your stories amusing or dramatic. Your eye contact and voice should reach out and bring them in.

Here are a few strategies that will help: get them to ask or answer questions; praise them; reference current events; show strong visuals; talk about the competition; move; use a louder voice; and use humour carefully. Always be politically correct or you may disengage the audience.

4. Persuade them with forethought & strategy

If your goal is to persuade your listeners into accepting an idea, buying a product or service, or changing their mind, focus on how to persuade them rather than the benefits of what you’re selling.

Here are some strategies that help persuade people: think about them first and how you’ll address their needs; appeal to emotion; begin your presentation with their most pressing issues; sell solutions to their problems; describe what might happen if they don’t buy into your idea; be excited.

5. Deliver with impact

How do we demonstrate as well as inspire confidence in our audience? We do it through strong body language. We all know that body language speaks louder than words. So to answer the question: how do I deliver a strong presentation? The answer must include a focus on body language. Think about developing your best interpersonal skills.

Body language, also called non-verbal communication, is comprised of five main elements: Voice, gesture, posture, eye contact, and distance. After that comes grooming, dress, and hygiene. All of these elements are critically important to the success of the presentation. As in any interpersonal skills training, our goal is to communicate effectively with our verbal and non verbal messages.

Think about using: a louder than average voice; speech that has lots of inflection; natural hand gestures and facial animation; posture that is grounded and purposeful whether standing still or moving; and meaningful eye contact. Ask your friends for honest feedback. Drive your body language to inspire confidence in your audience.

6. Conclude with conviction

Plan your concluding remarks. Don’t wing it. Make your conclusion distinct from the body of your presentation by announcing, In conclusion… This alerts the listener to refocus. Likely you will repeat your key message at this time. If they didn’t get it before, they will catch it now.

Consider what you want the audience to do after your presentation. Ask them directly. Outline the next steps and attach a timeline. This lends some urgency to a persuasive presentation.

End with conviction. Avoid phrases that sound hesitant or tentative, such as:

I hope I… Unfortunately we’re out of time… Possibly… Maybe you learned something today…

Instead use strong, concluding phrases, such as:

Just imagine when… I know we can achieve… I’m confident that… Let’s focus on…

The answer to how to give a winning presentation is a long and complex one. The strategies I’ve shared will help you achieve success when standing in front of an audience. You’ll feel the incredible rush that comes when they are listening, nodding, and smiling. That’s one of the perks that come with a mastery of presentation skills.